If You’re Not Growing, You’re Dying

Do you know that staying for too long in your comfort zone will bring you frustration, boredom and ultimately a loss of meaning to your life and lots of regret?

And I guess you don’t want to have a life full of regret, right?

What makes us stay in a comfort zone?

It’s the need for certainty!

Certainty means safety and predictability…

BUT!

Here’s the thing.

At some point in our life, we will have experienced a strong emotional event, such as:

– failure
– loss
– rejection
– a health issue
– accident, etc

And what do you think this does to us?

Our need for “certainty” becomes an addiction.

Why?

Because uncertainty means danger.

And by staying in our comfort zone, we protect ourselves from experiencing this pain again.

But if we stay there too long, our fears start to grow…

We then feel guilty and ashamed about the opportunities we miss…

And a vicious cycle begins. We plan our whole life around our fears and serve them.
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But what would happen if you remained in uncertainty long enough?

Yup, you guessed it, it will become certainty!

Remember, we are much more than our fears.

Don’t put your amazing self in the boring box!

Ask yourself: “Am I growing or am I dying?”

Oh, and one last thing…
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And I’m sure you’ve heard it before.

Because it’s true.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone!

Top 5 Crippling Mistakes “Confident” Men Do

Did you know that 50% of men who think that they are Confident, have lots of insecurities and Confidence issues without realizing it?
It is happening because there is a different understanding of what Confidence is and we can hold false beliefs about it and stay oblivious of how this can be improved.

MISTAKE #1 – Failing to Work With Emotions
Shutting down all the emotions or being too emotional – can be a sign that you lack self-confidence and there are deeper issues that are creeping inside you.
Inability to express emotions especially strong ones as love, anger, resentment is a clear sign that there is an internal conflict that has be explored and resolved.
We can just selectively numb feelings: if we numb anger, we also numb joy and happiness!
Working with your emotions and becoming more self-aware will bring you back the control of your life and boost your confidence to the next level!

MISTAKE #2 – Failing to Keep Work/Life Balance
Do you work your butt off and sacrifice your personal needs to ensure your family has everything they need?
Does your work occupy 80% of your time and there is no space for your own interests (or you don’t know your interests!)?
Being a hard worker is one of the common sign of confidence issues and this can lead to further health and mental illness.
If this is a case, it is time to seek for help and start taking care of your own needs. I am 100% sure there is a way to keep you and your family happy other than self-sacrificing.

MISTAKE #3 – Failing to Enjoy Achievements
It is great to be ambitious, but if you never feel enough and keep jumping to another and another goal, this could lead to a burnout, loss of motivation and unhappiness.
When you are too focused on your goals and put aside your health, family, hobbies or things that bring you pure pleasure, could be a sign that your drivers and motivation come from your FEARS and “I’m not good enough” beliefs, but not from the place of LOVE.
If this is a case, it is worth to explore your drivers and the aspects of self-love and self-acceptance that are fundamental for irresistible Confidence and sustainable results!

MISTAKE #4 – Failing to Challenge Yourself Enough
It is easy to confuse “feeling confidence” with “feeling comfortable/safe”, that’s why lots of men feel “Confident” just because they know their work, family and other aspects of life inside out.
But this “Confidence” is limited by what you achieved, and it is bounded by the routine that you created. If are not learning something new, we aren’t growing and if we aren’t growing – we are dying.
Staying too long in your comfort zone could be damaging for your self-esteem and confidence. By doing so, you will have more and more fears of leaving it and worries about the future.
If this is a case, it is worth to get more clarity what is it you are avoiding doing and which aspirations do you have. Remember, Confidence go side by side with Action!

MISTAKE #5 – Failing to Be Self-Sufficient
If you find yourself not being able to feel comfortable at your own skin or in your company and you feel the need “To have something/somebody to feel something” – this can be a sign that there is a need inside you that hasn’t been properly fulfilled.
It most cases it is a need for Connection or Significance.
For instance: “Subconsciously, I attach my self-worth to things / people that I have (expensive luxury car, job title, beautiful women, etc) to feel significant or loved.”
If this is a case, there are ways to work on this needs and making sure you don’t need anything to feel irresistibly confident!
If you feel resonated with any of them, let’s connect and I help you to get your Confidence to extremely new level!

Your Physiology Tells The Truth About Your Confidence

Your emotional state (or physiology) is a particular chemical reaction in your body that gives you certain emotions.

Your emotional state can make you feel incredibly powerful or weak, happy or miserable.

Why it is important for your confidence levels?

It’s because your emotional state impacts on your thoughts, actions and ultimately results.

Emotions are not just something that happens to us – we have the power to control them!

How do we achieve this?

Think about what makes you feel great and what makes you start creating something.

It is the right flow of energy that becomes a fuel for your creativity and confidence.

Do you know any entrepreneurs who work long hours but never seem to get tired and always have fantastic energy flow?

Why don’t they burn out? Because having the right energy is everything! Your own physiology is an unlimited source of energy.

Emotion can be created by emotion. A fake laugh can lead to a genuine laugh.

When you force yourself to smile, laugh, use open body language or even dance, your chemical balance starts changing and you feel great!

Just sitting in a chair, overthinking and over-analysing things won’t give you this wonderful emotional state.

Everything you focus on, you feed it with your energy.

Direct your energy to gratitude, love, connection, opportunities, empowering beliefs and change your emotional state!

Yes, you need to fake it until you make it. Confidence will come afterwards.

The Most Important Relationship In Your Life

The quality of your relationship with yourself is the foundation of your relationships with others.

Studies show that we unable to be emotionally available for others if we are not able to be emotionally connected with ourselves.

For example: If we ignore our feelings, strive for perfection, criticise ourselves, reject parts of our personality, and not give ourselves the space to take care of our mind, body and spirit then these are signs of unhealthy self-relationships.

In this instance we are unlikely to build caring, kind and loving relationships with others.

A healthy self-relationship is based on strong senses of self-worth, self-respect, unconditional self-love and self-acceptance.

Here are some tips on how to start building a healthy relationship with yourself right now:

– care for your physical needs (e.g. get enough sleep and rest, eat healthy food, exercise daily, breathe fresh air, and be around nature)

– notice your emotions, thoughts, physical feelings, behaviour, mood

– compliment yourself and keep yourself in high, positive regard

– do what you love and what inspires you

Check in with yourself daily and ask: What’s happening with me right now?

An exceptionally good self-relationship should be your number one priority! Treat yourself with love, care and respect.

How To Attract Only The Right People To Your Life

Have you ever acted against your own will to maintain relationships with people you considered valuable to you? Did it work?

The ability to create and protect our own boundaries is a vital part of building powerful relationships.

You might ask why some people succeed in keeping their boundaries, but others fail.

It is because people with low self-esteem tend to keep soft boundaries or not have them at all, because they value relationships with others more than their self-worth.

They allow others to take advantage of their personal boundaries too easily because they are afraid of being rejected or abandoned.

But if you want to become irresistibly confident and build powerful, fulfilling relationships then you have to create boundaries that will serve you to bring only the right people into your life!

For instance, you must state to yourself: “I don’t want anyone to shout at me, so if somebody does start shouting, I will leave the conversation.”

Or: “I will not tolerate someone betraying me. I will finish that relationship.”

It is a pure, adult behaviour to say clearly what is right or wrong for you, so we don’t have to feel guilty afterwards.

Think about it this way: If you don’t respect your boundaries, why would anyone else respect them?

Ask yourself:
‒ What is it that I cannot accept?
‒ How am I going to protect my boundaries?
‒ How am I going to communicate them?
‒ How committed am I?

Once you are clear about your personal boundaries and start behaving accordingly, it will make an amazing difference.

You will be able to build powerful relationships based on trust, support and equality.

Do Men Have More Insecurities Than Women?

Parents treat boys and girls differently from the beginning.

Girls are allowed to cry, be weak, helpless and capricious…

BUT – boys are not!

One family member will always remind them: “You are boy, you have to be strong!”

At a very young age, boys learn to numb their feelings; not showing them to anyone and pretending to be powerful.

Starting from puberty, boys begin to appreciate “men must-have” attributes such as:

– leadership
– dominance
– law-breaking
– muscle development
– actually, everything that’s associated with power!

But what if a boy has less-developed muscles or doesn’t want to be involved in any illegal activity?

In most cases, he doesn’t feel like he fits in and might be bullied by more “mature” friends.

And what impact does all of this have?

This leads to anger, fear, suppressed resentment, and other psychological reservations.

What happens next?

As an adult, men encounter other challenges, such as their parents’ expectations:

– “You have to become someone!”
– “You have to be financially independent!”
– “You have to find a ‘real’ job!”
– “You have to be a breadwinner”, etc…

Such a heavy bag of societal preconceptions of what a “real man” must be or do, isn’t it?

I believe that regardless of gender, we all have a right to experience and express a whole variety of feelings and to be vulnerable.

Let’s stop hiding our insecurities behind masks. Let’s face them and resolve them.

We are free from labels, stereotypes and the expectations of others unless WE want to take them on!

You are what you believe you are.

P.S. Do what you love, even if this goes against the common picture of a “real man”.